First Things First

Welcome. I don't know how you made it to my humble blog, but you are welcome here.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Ceci. I am 32 years old, the mother of four (with two wonderful steppies). I am divorced and happily remarried. I was raised by a single mom and have had very little relationship time with my biological father. I had no stepfather. I am a Christian and was raised in the Church. I am a daughter, a stay at home mother, a wife, a friend, a mentor. I am fat.

I have to be honest with you because I've learned too many times that if I lie to you and to myself, nothing changes. Deception, especially of the "self" kind leads to a slippery slope. And that slope, my friend, is what led me to where I am now--overweight, in denial, and knowing that I have to make some drastic changes.

So perhaps you're asking where is "here"? Here is the heaviest weight I've ever been at (even though eighteen months ago I was at my smallest size as an adult!). Here is a place where I can't sleep soundly. Here is a place where after a half hour of walking, my hips ache for days. Here is a place where I have migraines more and more often than ever before. Here is a place where I have given up pretending this is just baby weight and it will magically go away without much effort. Here is a place where I have to sit on the floor to put on shoes with shoelaces and to tie them because I don't "fold" in half easily anymore. Here is a place where I look in the mirror and want to cry but know that I did this to me.

So what's next? Next is the ongoing journey from here to "there". Ultimately, there is a place where I have a healthy BMI and body fat composition. But having done this thing before, I realize that there are a number of places on the way to there. I know that weight loss isn't overnight. It's not magical. It's not just popping a pill. It's a massive and complete overhaul that takes lots and lots of time--a lifetime--and that's where I've failed before. I got to this magical number and over time, after reaching that place, I stopped doing what it took me to get together. It's alot like climbing up a mountain, getting to the edge of the peak and letting go. It can only equal one thing--sliding downhill again (or in my case, getting bigger numbers on the scale).

So...now for the part that I don't want to talk about...measurements.
Height: 5' 1"
Weight: 245
BMI: 46.3 ("Obese")

My ultimate goal:
Weight: 135
BMI: 25.5 ("Overweight") **Note: see later discussion about the fallacies of the BMI scale.**

I hope that my journey is inspirational for you. If you, like me, are in a place where things just aren't right anymore, start today to make changes.