Weigh In, Week Six

So...I'm done with my fifth week, and I'm a day late weighing in...

But forgive me...I did weigh...and it's GOOD!

Drumroll, please!

232.3

Yes! That's right. I am down 6.9 pounds since last week and 13.9 pounds total, leaving me 97.3 pounds to lose.

Oh, and I'll be back to post more. We have moved into the new millenium by purchasing a Wii and Wii Fit. And I promise there will be great news to share!

How'd you do this week?

IMHO, or "Nobody really asked me"

Being the research freak that I am, I have read about almost every "popular" diet that is out there. I also was a pre-nursing student back in the day and took a good nutrition class. So while I'm not an expert, I do have a pretty good idea how our bodies work and what it needs to be healthy.

My problem is all the fad diets out there. I read too many blogs and accounts from people who are on this plan and that plan, but I wonder...how many of these specialized diets can be maintained for life? We all know that losing weight is pretty easy, especially compared to the monumental task of KEEPING IT OFF.

I found myself in a quandary about this very subject. I know someone who has completely cut out carbs, except two small servings a day. They have lost weight with this plan, even without exercise. But can they eat like this for the rest of their lives and maintain their weight loss and good health? I question this because I know that the body requires some carbohydrates for the brain to function optimally. In fact, the biggest downfall of a diet low in carbs is in the morning. A high-protein breakfast WILL stick with you longer, meaning less likelihood to snack mid-morning on doughnuts or whatever, but without carbs, many people feel groggy and sluggish. This is because the brain needs some carbs to wake up.

And what about diets that require someone to eat lots of a certain group of foods that they dislike? If I don't like a food, I will only be able to force myself to eat it for so long before I'm going to cheat. I may reach goal, but I will not be able to maintain it.

All weight loss comes down to ONE SIMPLE EQUATION:

calories in < calories burned

You can achieve this by eating less than your body needs to maintain weight. You can do it by burning more calories than you eat. Or you can do it with a combination of both.

BUT, and this is my big contention--the healthiest thing overall (excepting of course those with a medical condition keeping them from being able to) is eat less AND exercise more. You shouldn't be cutting out whole food groups to do this, unless your entire diet has been from the drive thru. Everyone needs vegetables, fruit, lean meats, whole grains, very small amounts of fat (yes, your body NEEDS fat--but not tons of it!), and even smaller amounts of sweets (meaning processed sugary foods--not needed as far as I can tell).

To be a truly healthy person for a lifetime, you must eat balanced meals including ALL the food groups in appropriate serving sizes. You must also maintain a physically active lifestyle (again, precluding those with medical conditions that keep them from physical activity). Get up, get out, get moving.

So, I'll get off the soapbox, but I'm so worried when I hear friends tell me that they're doing this diet or that one when I know that at best, they will likely yo-yo their weight because the likelihood that they can maintain that eating pattern for life is so slim. How do I know??? Because I did this already once. And even then, I didn't cut out whole food groups. But I viewed my eating as being temporary. I could survive without ice cream because "once I get to my goal weight, I can eat it again."

And you know what? I did. And I got pregnant and I ate ice cream, cake, cookies, candy and whatever else my cravings told me I wanted. And I undid seven months of weight loss and six months of maintaining and PUT ON EVEN MORE WEIGHT.

But, here's the thing. I'm back at it again. And I know that there are those out there who supported me last time, but are hesitant this time for just this reason. But this is my last time. I will never again have the need to put on weight. My whole family is changing how they eat as I change how I cook. And I'm learning how to create meals that are flavorful, enjoyable, and healthy. I am learning how to combine whole foods at home to create wonderfully exciting meals that my family can eat for the rest of our lives. And I'm increasing my physical activity level slowly but surely so that I can keep up with the kids now, and encourage them to be physically active for life.

Well, that's it. What do you think?

Update, Week Five

237.1

There it is. I'm down almost two pounds since last week which marked my monthly bloat. I am actually quite happy with this minor loss because we spent the long weekend on vacation/furniture buying trip in Portland, OR. We ate out at every meal although I was conscious about calories and food choices almost everywhere we went. I did have whatever I wanted on Valentine's Day for dinner, but didn't overeat.

Overall, I've lost over 9 pounds in one month. Everywhere you turn, healthy weight loss is listed at 8-10 pounds per month. I suppose that means I'm on the right track.

On a different note, I've been suffering with knee pain all weekend. This was my reason for losing weight in 2006, the hope of avoiding knee problems (and back problems) from carrying around all this excess weight. I injured my left knee several years back at work, and it is definitely resisting my current weight. For now, this is limiting my physical activity level, but I refuse to let this defeat me. I will put on a swimsuit and pay to go to the Y and swim three times a week if it comes to that. I am going to lose this weight.

That's it for now...how are you doing?

Weigh In, Week Four

Here it is.... (drumroll please)...


239.1


While I should be rejoicing because I lost three pounds since last Monday, part of me is sad. See, I weigh every other day because it helps take some of the power out of the scale for me. Otherwise, I begin to doubt that my efforts are paying off and I fear the truth of what it says on the other hand.


And...two days ago, the scale read 237.9 which was very exciting. And I have been faithful to my diet. I'm that way. Once I put my heart into it, I will not cheat. If I cheat chocolate, I will list it and fit the calories into my daily allowance. But I won't do that often. I am very focused once I get going which is exactly why this small movement in the upwards direction unsettles me so much.


But I am woman...and I know that this likely is only a signal of my cycle...and not a signal that I have cheated my diet. Or it could be that I'm not eating enough calories for my activity level and I have reached a mini-plateau (highly unlikely this early in the game, but I won't write it off just yet).


But I will keep plugging away...eating the right foods--4-5 servings of vegetables, 2-3 servings of fruits, 3 sevings of proteins (one from a non-animal source), and several servings of starches--all in whole grain form. I am watching my caloric intake, my fat intake, and avoiding empty calorie foods. This is the way I will eat for the rest of my life. That's not to say that I won't ever again eat ice cream or cake. I will. But I won't eat them everyday or every week. Perhaps not even every month.


Instead of a chocolate bar, I eat sugar-free, fat-free Jello pudding cups. When I'm craving potato chips or french fries (a craving for salt for me), I pour a cup of V-8 juice (which is relatively high in sodium, but cuts the craving for me). When I'm craving popcorn, I pop a mini-bag (100 calories, fat free) instead of the big bag of movie theater butter flavored popcorn.


And I walk. They know me by first name at the mall (almost) because I'm up there 2-3 days each week walking laps before the stores open. I had been using the elliptical, but I've been experiencing some knee pain (no doubt from all the extra weight I'm carrying around), so I am staying off of it for a while. I hope to get into some sort of water resistance program at the Y and start a core ball routine soon also, things which will increase my lean muscle mass while remaining gentle on my knees. I'm confident that my knees are just crying out because of the extra weight and stress I've put upon them and will be much better once I'm down 25 pounds or so.

And I will be successful.


Do you fear the scale? Are you struggling with a diet journal? Have you considered that this is not how you eat for 3 weeks, or 6 months, but for the rest of your life?

It's been said that doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result is insanity. I believe it's true when it comes to dieting.

Now, I have to be honest...although I've spent far more of my adult years overweight, I have not tried every fad diet out there. I have lost a significant amount of weight twice before: 60+ pounds in 1999, and 65+ pounds in 2006.

Obviously, I am here dieting for a reason. I slipped off the good habits and put the weight back on. I like to pat myself on the back that both times I kept the weight off until I got pregnant with baby #3 and baby #4 respectively, each just over a year after losing the weight.

*giggles*

I must look very good when I'm skinny!

Okay, now seriously, that was not the point. The point was that I hit some trouble spots maintaining my weight loss. The first time, the problem was that I never learned anything about nutrition and cooking healthly balanced meals at all. I took phentermine, which is an appetite suppressant. I lost 15 pounds a month, but I hardly ate. I worked out 2-3 hours a day while my two little ones napped. Not exactly what you could call a replicable situation for very long.

The second time, I learned more about nutrition and accountability. I learned about how to eat out without going crazy in high fat, high sugar, low nutrition foods. I learned that this "whole food" and this "whole food" are good while highly processed foods are bad. But there always remained this disconnect for me in how I ate. It felt like I was always piecing together snacks to create a "meal". When I achieved my goal weight, I just couldn't and didn't see myself eating like that for a lifetime. And...surprise, surprise...I didn't and I put every ounce and pound (plus a few extras I found along the way) back on.

I've chosen the alli diet plan to help me lose weight. I am having more knee pain than I would like, and I know that my weight is to blame. But I keep plugging along with the change in my diet, the increase of physical activity knowing that there is only one way to make my health, my joints, my lifestyle better--stick with it...for life.

And this is where it is SO different for me this time. As I began this change, I identified it as being a permanent state. This is my last diet. I will maintain because I know what fat looks like, I know how it feels emotionally and physically, and because I also know what healthy looks like and feels. I CHOOSE healthy. I WANT healthy. I CONTROL the choices that will lead me back to good health and keep me there.

And knowing these things, I really hit a wall last week. I felt once again that I was piecing snacks together to create odd, disjointed meals. And I started to panic. I kept eating that way because I want to fit in my skinny jeans sooooo sooooo badly, but I knew that I needed to learn how to make real meals for my whole family that were healthy.

I didn't grow up in a household where I was taught to cook much. And when I started to cook as an adult, we had a limited budget and ate the cheaper highly processed foods. I never learned how to cook healthy meals. And I longed for the ability to learn to cook healthy meals for my whole family. I mean, I think there should be a required high school or college class for this because it seems so foreign to me.

I hear so many women tell of cooking for their whole family and then making a separate meal for themselves. This seems a little unnecessary and unreal to me. First of all, I lack the time and energy to cook two meals each evening. Second, if I have been modeling poor eating habits for my children, I need to teach them new ones as I learn them too. It is essential for my children to look at food in healthy realistic ways.

Enter a conversation with my 7-year-old son about having to eat what I cook. Sigh. I explained it to him in boy terms. Inside our bodies, there are all those organs. They work together to keep us alive and healthy. It's like our engine. I asked him to reason taking his dad's car to the mechanic for an oil change and having dirty old oil put into it. He knew that was silly, but he didn't realize that eating high sugar foods, greasy high-fat foods was exactly the same thing for his body. And then I had to be real with him. I told him that he didn't want to be fat when he grows up. (He loved the attention I got when I lost all the weight several years ago...he's an attention-getter...) I asked him if he wanted me to be able to play outside with them again. I asked him if he wants to play with his kids like that someday. He answered with a resounding, "YES." So I reasoned with him that he also had to change how he eats now. Before he blows up his internal car engine.

So while longing for a way to learn to cook for the whole family true healthy "meals", I stumbled upon a great cookbook. I hate to appear to be endorsing a product, because that is not my intent. But, if you are feeling inadequate when it comes to preparing a healthy meal for your whole family, I just have to suggest you check out this book: Biggest Loser Family Cookbook. Unlike the earlier cookbook, almost all of the recipes are in family of four format, not individual servings. The meals are very yummy, and they are budget friendly too. I feel like I have found the cooking class I was looking for!

My next weigh-in is coming up, and I'm not dreading it. I can't "weight" to see how much I've lost...

A thought from my other blog

Part of my decision to lose weight involves seeking out the root cause of my food choices. Why do I choose unhealthy foods and unhealthy eating habits? What is within me that keeps me from making those simple and good decisions, even when I know what they are and the positive effect it has on me--my moods, my physical fitness, and health?

Part of this process has included reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge (John is the author of "Wild At Heart"). It is captivating read, although some of it has really forced me to look at my past and what caused me to form the opinions I have of myself. It has been painful. From an absent--physically and emotionally--father, to family who belittled me for my weight, to other broken girls who labeled me unfairly, to...oh, the list could go on and on.

But here is what I have identified:

I have believed for a long time that I was a mistake and that I ruined my parents' lives.

I was too much for most people--as a child too bright and outgoing, as an adult too emotional and insightful. So I hid from people. I hide from myself.

Eating is indirectly comforting for me. I eat for taste. If it tastes good, it brings me pleasure in a life where I have learned to avoid luxuries like pleasure and joy and happiness. When I eat and put on weight, people are less likely to seek me out or invite me to do things with them. By avoiding interactions with others, I am avoiding the risk of allowing them to hurt me. You can't hit me if you can't reach me. And my weight--my fat--is a distance between you and me. This is even true in the most wonderful human relationship I have ever been a part of--my marriage. On some level, I believe that by being overweight I will be less desirable to my husband, so he won't pursue me.

The irony? Our relationship is the most fully intimate relationship I could imagine. Even cooking for each other is an act of intimacy, doing laundry. We hold nothing back from each other which is healthy. But for someone who is so afraid of being: "too much, not good enough, a mistake, a burden, an obstacle to be overcome, a bag to drag along for lack of another option, last pick, unworthy, lacking value", this healthy intimacy is somewhat overwhelming. It goes against everything within me--the wounds, the scars, the fat that I carry to insulate myself from potential pain.

Why do we overeat? Because we do not love ourselves. We do not see our intrinsic value. We cannot believe that there is good within us. It may be something overwhelmingly obvious to us. Or, in my case, it may take some digging down deep to really pull these "lie/truths" from within our souls to the surface, and then it make take years of discarding of them to find healing. I call them lie/truths because those statements are not truths about us really, but there impact is real and affects us more than we want to believe.

But the hope we can find is that there is someone who knows the whole truth and loves us. He knows that we are beautiful, no matter how much we weigh, who told us otherwise, who battered us, who raped us, who used us, who neglected us. And He is deeply and madly in love with us. He is more in love with me today at 239 than He was yesterday at 242.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love." --Jeremiah 31.3

And you know what? He walks with me and He talks with me. And He tells me I am His own. Here is His love song to me today. He has one for you too.

One step back...two steps forward

One of the hardest parts about making a change is that most of us like our lives and our routines. When you're talking about poor eating habits and physical inactivity, this is so true! It's so much easier to make the same high fat, high carb, low nutritional density foods that we've been eating for years than to learn new ways to cook and prepare food.

Last week I encountered a setback. Who am I kidding? I am my setback. My beloved husband celebrated his birthday on Wednesday. He's the kind of man who would do without for himself to make me and the kids happy. So when he requested ribeye steak and Costco buttercream frosting cake for his birthday dinner...well, I couldn't find it in my heart to say no.

I couldn't find it in my heart to not make it, or to not eat it. The mistake is that I chose to eat those foods although I had setup my kitchen to have lots of low fat, healthy alternatives within arm's reach. I chose to eat another piece of cake, and another. (I did not lose all control...I have only had TWO pieces of that cake...I have been able to say no since then.)

So I am here to report my weekly weigh-in:

(sad trumpet fanfare)

242.2

(sigh)

I suppose it isn't as bad as it could have been. Our weekend involved having lots of foods that weren't good choices, and I did make the right choices most of the weekend. In fact, in light of that knowledge, I am quite glad that my weight didn't rebound anymore than it did.

*****
Two steps forward. I am starting the alli plan today. I had resolved to do this a while ago, but then it just didn't fall into our budget. This payday, we could afford to buy it, plus I found out that if you go to their website and participate in a survey, you can receive a printable coupon for alli--a whopping $10 off the purchase of a 60-ct. or 90-ct. starter package.

Now, I am not suggesting that everyone go out and purchase/use alli(orlistat). The reality that I've learned about diet/lifestyle changes is that different strokes are for different folks. If planning a menu that is lowfat and healthy while also calorie controlled is something that works for you, alli might be something to consider. The nutrition component of alli is very similar in design to Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, or any other food exchange system.

So what makes this different?

Alli(orlistat) works in the digestive tract to keep some of the fat you consume from being absorbed by the body. This is significant because fat carries 9 kcals/gram, compared to 4 kcals/gram for protein and carbohydrates. It's also helpful because most proteins are animal-derived which means that they include fat, and many carbs are processed with animal-derived products including fat.

The nutrition program varies in kcals based on your starting height/weight, but here is what I know: even if you followed only the nutrition program without the alli pill, you would lose weight! That's why they can claim that you can lose 50% more weight using alli than with diet/nutrition alone.

What does that mean for me? I know that by following the nutrition plan and increasing my physical activity level gradually, I can lose 8-10 pounds a month. I know this because I did it before, back in 2006. With alli, I should be able to do the same thing but with the help of the pill, increase the loss to 12-15 pounds a month.

This is really important for me for two reasons:

1. I am experiencing a lot of weight related issues- joint pain, back pain, snoring-that can only be resolved through weight loss.

2. I am a goal-oriented person and will quit if I don't feel like I'm getting results.

So, here is where I'm at...

This week, I'm going to keep eating the way I have been--low calorie, low fat--and add alli to my daily intake. I am also going to maintain/morph my activity schedule to make sure I get three days of "planned" physical activity--walking, elliptical, whatever it takes--which may be difficult as our family schedule is changing again to accomodate a change in my husband's work schedule.

But watch and see: next week I will see a weight loss, and I will be successful with the activity changes.

How about you?